Give All My Secrets Away

Zac sat in the back of the bus sharing a joint with Carrick as they watched some movie. It was a movie Zac let Carrick pick out so he wasn’t too into it but he was watching it for Carrick. The man who Zac was sure he may have been in love with despite his marriage to Kate.

“You know some of the things the fans talk about are true,” Zac started not even sure what made him open his mouth and say that.

Maybe it was because while he and Carrick were on the bus, Isaac and Taylor were off in a hotel room. Zac knowing what they were doing.

He’d known about it for so damn long and kept it to just himself. Now he wanted to share it with at least one other person. Needed someone else to know so he didn’t combust with the secrets inside of him.

Carrick raised an eyebrow as he took a hit off the joint. “What like how they think we’re fucking?” he asked with a laugh. “I know that one is true babe.”

Shaking his head Zac stole the joint from Carrick’s fingers after Carrick took a hit. “No,” he said after blowing some of the smoke in Carrick’s face. “I mean that there is incest in the band,” he offered up with a blush seeing Carrick make a face.

Zac knowing that Carrick’s first reaction would be that it was him and Taylor. It wasn’t though Zac did play it up with Taylor.

Had let Taylor convince him it was best so that no one saw who the real couple was. If you could even call Isaac and Taylor a couple.

Maybe brothers with benefits was the better word for them.

“You and Taylor?” Carrick asked assuming exactly what Zac knew he had.

Shaking his head Zac took another hit off the joint before handing it back to Carrick. “Isaac and Taylor,” he confessed watching as Carrick’s face changed to that of shock.

Which wasn’t all that shocking at all. Anyone would be shocked to know it was them since most times it seemed as if they rarely got along.

They got along enough to fuck and Zac couldn’t help but wonder if the whole love and hate thing was just an act. To throw people off. Much like him and Taylor being and acting a little too close was all an act.

An act to save his brother’s ass.

“It’s shocking I know,” Zac continued in Carrick’s silence. “But well Taylor and I made up this plan to throw people off the scent of him and Ike…or well more like Taylor came up with the plan and I went along in my teenage naiveness,” he revealed as he let his mind go back to that day.

But even in his naiveness he didn’t regret it at all.


“So you’ll agree to help me?” Taylor asked with a pleading look in his eye as he looked Zac over. Zac blushing at Taylor’s gaze because it seemed like his brother could see right through him. “I mean you understand things now. That I’m not in love with Isaac. I just..I like sex with him and he likes sex with me.”

Zac rolled his eyes because while he did understand things it didn’t mean that he didn’t find it a bit uncomfortable still because he did.

Though he understood what it meant to have to hide your love for someone. He had to do that with the boy he was seeing that only Taylor and a few of his friends knew about.

Knew if his parents knew or the fans that it wouldn’t be good. A gay son and a gay boybander. Everyone would have a fucking field day.

Which was why he covered it up by dating girls or well getting girls to agree to pretend to date him while they could do whatever they wanted in the process. It was a win for him and the girl in those situations he though.

“I understand how things are but that doesn’t mean I like the idea of having to pretend to be close enough to you that fans start thinking I’m the one fucking his own brother,” Zac muttered though he knew fans already thought that.

Right now it was just a small amount but if they did what Taylor wanted it would grow and he wasn’t sure he was okay with that.

Taylor sighed at Zac’s words and Zac knew in his gut that Taylor was angry with him. Which was never a good thing. An angry Taylor was usually hell.

“If you don’t do this I’m going to tell mom and dad about Erik,” Taylor threatened sounding so serious in his words that Zac was afraid his brother would actually do just that.

That if he didn’t agree then he’d be outed as being gay which he didn’t want. Not yet, maybe never wanted.

Shaking his head Zac swallowed as he crossed his arms. “Fine,” he told Taylor. “I’ll agree but don’t expect me to be happy about this.”

Taylor gave him a twisted little smile as he leaned just a bit closer to him. “Oh Zac,” he sighed with a shake of his head. “Over time you’ll learn to love it.”

Scrunching up his nose Zac wasn’t sure that would happen but he new better than to tell Taylor that. Was afraid if he did Taylor would just end up outing him to his parents anyway and that was the last thing Zac needed or wanted to happen.


“Oh wow,” Carrick spoke and Zac blinked with a blush having not realized at all that he had told the story of how it started out loud. How it came to be that he and Taylor made the fans think they were fucking around. “Taylor’s kind of a douche when he wants to be.”

Laughing Zac nodded his head in agreement, “He really is but that’s probably why people love him and are drawn to him. But in the end Taylor does always find ways to get what he wants.”

“And what he wanted was people thinking you two were fucking?” Carrick asked and Zac only nodded his head yes.

“I mean it’s still twisted cause either way fans think he is fucking a brother but they’ll never know the truth,” Zac said not sure if it made much sense either way but it was Taylor.

Taylor wasn’t known for having the best brains in the world then again neither where he and Isaac. So it wasn’t like he could judge Taylor for this decision and in the end Zac was okay with it now. Something Taylor had been right about.

Not that Zac would ever tell Taylor of that. Taylor didn’t have to always know he was right.